Sunday, June 14, 2009

Looking for Tomorrow

Hi friends
If any of you still drop by, you will have noticed that I have not been blogging as much. I've moved my thoughts on LGBT rights over to Jay and his partner Christopher are truly amazing and it has been a real gift to get to know them. Stop by and say Hi.

At some point, I'm sure that I will start a personal blog again. I'm just not sure on what. My life has become full. I'm enjoying every minute. I love my job, I enjoy blogging with Jay and the rest of his team, it's summer, we're adding a room to the house.

Stop by Facebook or find me on Twitter as bear54.

It's been truly flattering that you have taken time from your lives to read my words.

Mark Your Calendars - Movie about hate on PBS

This movie is about a hate crime in France. A young gay man was killed by two skinheads looking for an Arab. When they couldn't find one, they "settled" for a gay man.
It will air on June 30 on Public Broadcasting System.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Words of Hate From Straight People

Tuesday, June First, the California Supreme Court will announce it's decision at 10 a.m. Pacific Time. Today I looked at two websites. The LA Times and the Independent Mind. As usual, reader comments are all over the board. I've selected some of the negative comments and I have highlighted, in red, the words that reveal the hatred, bigotry, lies and ignorance of the people making these posts. I have copied these comments exactly and I have not corrected any spelling or grammatical errors. I welcome every reader to link to this blog, copy the words to your own blog and share this blog with your friends.

I can't help but ask myself. If these individuals were face to face with a gay person, would they say these words? The Internet provides anonymity. That has its positives - because all of us want to stay safe. It also has its negatives. We say things we would probably never say directly to a person. If you can't say it to someone's face, maybe you shouldn't say it? For those of you that share the feelings that you are about to read, I challenge you to take the time to read some facts. I challenge you to open your heart and think what if you were in the shoes of a gay person. Don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. If your positions are correct, it shouldn't hurt you to listen to the other side.

I'm not gay. I have many gay friends and they are are good people. Do you know someone who is gay? If not, I challenge you to purposely meet someone. For those of you that are unable to listen to the why gay people deserve the same rights as straight people, hear this. Gay people are not going to shut up. They are being denied rights. You want to stop hearing about it? Give everyone equal rights and let everyone get on with their lives.

And now, on to the comments.

It's not about giving or denying gay rights... but about demoralizing what a healthy, house & family is all about. Most of people endorsing gay marriages, don't want their children to be educated in a gay home. This is hypocrisy! Church Ministers will be forced by law to celebrate gay marriage. Is this fair?
Posted by: Marcel May 24, 2009 at 02:47 PM

No minister will be forced to celebrate gay marriage. Today, a minister can deny performing a wedding service to anyone. Besides, a church wedding isn't needed to make marriage legal. It has nothing to do with civil marriage. Don't believe me? Ask your clergyman. Or the county courthouse.

Facism is Facism. The "No on Prop 8" supporters have embraced FACISM! Their Mantra is "GAY FACISM UEBER ALLES!"
Posted by: Steve May 24, 2009 at 07:38 AM

I have no clue what this means. But I think it's from someone who is crazy.

You know what? I think that everyone who is unhappy with the outcome of Prop 8 should leave California immediately. Obviously you are very unhappy and you should live elsewhere that will accommodate any perversion you want. Frankly, I'm looking forward to the Supreme Court upholding the will of the people to determine what their society will look like. This isn't a race thing so don't give me that. This is a sexual perversion thing and I'm glad the people of California had the guts to say NO MORE! Others States who are having this issue crammed down their throats will rise up and follow suit. You watch! It will happen
Posted by: CAPearl May 22, 2009 at 05:14 PM

I always love this solution. Don't like how I think? Move. That's intelligent. Crammed down their throats? I have lost count of the number of times that a religious person has knocked on my door, wanting to come in and preach to me. Never, not once, has a gay person, anywhere, tried to invade my home or what I think. Why? First, they are only interested in living their own lives. Second, someone like you might answer the door and kill them.

Gays have their Civil unions and domestic partnerships. This minority of deviants should never have the authority or power to redefine marriage or our society based on their perversions. We chose to honor male and females in marriage. We said it twice to the gays in elections. What part of "No" and "Get lost" do you not understand? Leave marriage alone. You don't need our tradition. Make your own. And don't beg us for validation.
Posted by: jeffrey hepler May 22, 2009 at 04:47 PM

For the ten billionth time, this isn't about tradition, it's about legal rights. Civil unions and domestic partnerships cover a small fraction of the legal benefits of marriage. There are 1138 rights given to married people scattered throughout Federal Law. Look it up. And what part of equal rights and Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You don't you understand?

Gays and Lesbians will have no choice but to abide by the law whether they like it or not. Gays and Lesbians Do Not have the right to disturb the peace or to threaten anyone who disagrees with no on Prop. 8 or their sexual orientation.

Asking for rights is disturbing the peace? It might be disturbing your narrow view of the world. Go in the closet if it bothers you. See what that is like.

Marriage is not a right to anyone, and Gays and Lesbians need to get it through their heads. If Gays and Lesbians continue to persist, they will bring on the hate and suffer the consequences of those who will not tolerate their behavior.

Marriage is a right for heterosexuals but not for gays and lesbians, and heterosexuals need to get that through their heads. Thanks for the warning about the hate but it's already here. Your side has not been shy about holding back. But I do thank you for having the courage to put your hatred and threats in writing. Are you willing to say these things publicly to a gay person to their face?

From Independent Minds
copycat7 wrote:

You're kind of late, copycat. The American Psychology Association removed homosexuality as a mental illness thirty years ago. They disgust you? Just curious. Do you KNOW a gay person? Just one? I challenge you to open your mind long enough to attempt to get to know someone who is gay. Actually, you probably do know someone who is gay. They are just smart enough to know that coming out to you would be dangerous.

Re: Copycatis hate crime
zahradelaplata wrote:
Monday, 25 May 2009 at 12:34 pm (UTC)what marginality? The only marginal ones are gays. They are nothing but 3% of world population, and they try to force the rest of us, the real normal people, to accept'them as normal ones. They are not. Never will be. 97% is straight, that shows that the mere 3% is the exception to the rule, and definitely not the norm, hence, nothing normal or any need to accept their agenda. It's unbelievable how some minuscule groups force the majority, and brainwash society, just because they have the media and enough money to push these issues. You want to live your life? OK, do so between the walls of your bedroom, and leave the rest of us alone. Don't expect the majorities (like the one in California), accept or bend to your whims. See what you gays are trying to do in California. YOU LOST a democratic vote. DEAL WITH IT. But nooo, you just can't, right? You have to terrorize normals, use your economic muscle, your media capacity to force the majority to change what they decided in a ballot. That shows you what is the real frame of mind of gays. They don't just want their so called rights, they have to stomp over the opinions of others, and force them to their whims. What's next? Promoting homosexuality in schools, so you can harvest new kids for your zoo sooner? And we'll have to accept it, right? Riiiight.

Mormons are 1.7% of the population. In fact, most of us are in a minority for something. What does a percent have to do with anything? What percent would it take to convince you they are normal? Terrorize? Gay people want the same rights as the rest of us. I have an idea. Keep your hatred and bigotry inside your house and leave the rest of us alone. Harvesting kids? People are born gay. Or did you go through some agonizing process of deciding to be straight?

it's wrong wrong wrong
joshuacohen2003 wrote:
Monday, 25 May 2009 at 02:02 pm (UTC)Gays are just wrong in every sense of normal rational behaviour.forget the religious aspect because that's plain and simple and clearly obvious. No religion on earth condones homosexuality.
However lets look at it from an atheistic, scientific, logical, rational point of view. It's still glarignly obvious to anyone with a few brain cells that being homosexual is just idiotic nonsense. nature created males and females.
end of argument.

Dear Joshua Cohen. Your lack of scientific education and knowledge of religious texts is stunning. There is a growing body of evidence that sexual orientation has biological origins. Go to Entrez Pubmed and search the REAL scientific literature. Religion? There are groups in every faith that welcome LGBT members. Jews, Christians, Catholics, Buddhists, even Muslim. The religious aspect is anything but obvious. People wrote ancient scriptures 2000 plus years ago. The words have been misinterpreted and the cultural context lost. Why do these words hold more convincing power than modern day science? I'm sorry, that makes no sense to me.

These comments are not only factually wrong, they hurt real people. People who are daughters, sons, brothers and sisters. Real humans who are the same as me and you. I find these comments so unethical, so filled with unfounded prejudice, so unAmerican that I am ashamed.

Dehumanizing others so that we don't have to face our biases, so we don't have to feel that they are as human as we are, is a slippery slope, the same slope that led to slavery and the Holocaust. Haven't we learned anything from our own history? Our world history? We look back now and are ashamed of the discrimination in our nation's past. The next generation will look back on the fight for gay rights the same way. It is already happening. In the end, hate always loses.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Closet Talk

My good friend at jaysays has a series called Closet Talk that, obviously, is a reference to LGBT folks and what it is like to come out of "the closet" as it has always been called.

My blog today is what Closet Talk should look like for everyone. Gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, transgendered, not sure, Mormon, Atheists, Italians, rich, black, white, northerners (especially northerners).

Especially northerners? Yes folks. I'm talking about the semi-annual ritual of moving the winter wardrobe to the spare closet and bringing out the summer clothes. Today my husband informed me this is the day. Worse, he pointed out that I have two closets and two dressers full of clothes, most of which I never wear. I said - this just means I need a bigger closet. He said - you have clothes you never wear.

And boy do I ever. I shocked myself. After all these years of being a geek who is proud of her lack of fashion obsession, I've still managed to collect a mountain of clothes. None of them fashionable though, I do want to make that clear. I have some integrity as a geek.

I'm taking a break right now but the slavedriver is watching the clock and pacing past the "office" which on the way to the room with the closets. Can I help it that cleaning gives me hot flashes?

I've sorted through the "with this many stains I can only use this for painting" all the way to the "why are the tags still on this", folded up the good ones and will share them with women who might appreciate saving a buck or two. They are geeks too. So it might just work.

Use your closet for clothes. Bring YOU into the Living Room. Living. That's what it's all about.
Anyone need an ugly sweater?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I love holiday weekends

Today I slept in, went to Star Trek. We need another Gene Roddenberry. His vision of our possible future was so positive. We can change everything that is wrong. Ok, almost everything. We can feed people. We can find new sources of energy. We can provide medical care and education. We can continue to find cures and preventions for diseases. We can take care of the planet. We can make peace and respect one another. All of these are humanly possible.

Can you do one thing every day that changes the world? Can you be the change you want to see? What matters more to you than anything? Whose life can you touch, even if it's just a smile and sharing a joke?

Practice random acts of kindness. Practice intentional acts of kindness. It doesn't have to cost money. Reuse your grocery bags. Walk when possible. Turn off the lights. Volunteer through your church or school. Write to your Congressman. Put your unneeded items on Freecycle. Help a friend fix something. Hold open the door for someone. Give up your seat on the bus for someone. Buy just one food item grown locally. Meditate for five minutes. Remind yourself of all the people that love you. Be grateful for what you have. Help those who have less.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Domestic Partnership Protections in Wisconsin

Today I received this email from Fair Wisconsin:

Today, the Joint Finance Committee voted by a 12-4 margin to approve provisions providing for domestic partnership protections as part of the biennial budget.
“We applaud the Joint Finance Committee’s decision to approve this important measure, and thank the committee co-chairs Senator Miller and Representative Pocan for their leadership,” said Fair Wisconsin Executive Director Glenn Carlson.

“Domestic partnerships offer the basic legal protections that caring, committed couples need to be able to take care of each other,” said Fair Wisconsin Legislative Director Katie Belanger. “Even in tough economic times, providing domestic partnership protections like hospital visitation, end of life decision-making, and the ability to take family leave to care for a sick or injured partner is the fair and decent thing to do.”

Following the executive sessions of the Joint Finance Committee, the full legislature is scheduled to vote on the budget in June.

To learn more about domestic partnerships or to support this important effort, please visit

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Time for Action.

Hello all,

Things were looking good for us with the election of Obama and the democratic majority in congress. I know I felt very relieved watching the inauguration. I was happy that "change had come to Washington" But the lack of action on promises that were made in the during the campaign have left me feeling mislead.

Yesterday I saw a story about a Air Force pilot who was being fired for being gay. Story here This upset me greatly, this man is a decorated hero, who was selected to protect our nation's capital during the 9-11 attacks. But he no longer considered fit to serve. How can this be a good idea? Is it ever in a organizations interest to fire a solid performer? How can this be good for our national security to fire such a qualified pilot?

After reading the article I went to Whitehouse website to see the official stance on GLBT issues. Guess what, they don't exist!! I checked under civil rights, but again no mention of GLBT issues. Nothing under Family either. This got me really angry, so I sent Obama a letter through the whitehouse website, asking him to honor his promise.

But part of wanted to do more, For too long I have given money to various gay charities (HRC, Lambda Legal, and the Task Force) and expected them to fight for our rights. But now I am enraged. It's time for things to change. We need to show them that we are NOT going to be oppressed anymore. We need a new leader, we need a modern day gay Martin Luther King. We need a gay equivalent to the black panthers. I'm not saving we need to bomb or anything violent, but we need to show our frustration and that we are not going to take this BS any longer. There are already calls for a march on Washington this fall More here. Will that be enough, I doubt it. But it is a start. Does anyone else out there have more ideas?